So…I apparently forgot to write a post on Monday, and didn’t realize it until today. Pre-pandemic Sarah would not have let something like this slip, or would have at least noticed a day later. That was when I actually had some executive function in my prefrontal cortex. Nowadays – not so much.
A few weeks back, meeting a friend for a walk in the park, I mentioned that I hadn’t seen her for ages. She laughed and reminded me that we had gone on a bike ride just the week previous. I’ve become so forgetful with my packing that I have a checklist taped to the front door so I don’t leave without Pinkerton’s leash and my concert shoes.
I’ve heard the term “Covid brain” tossed around a lot – it’s probably a function of being lost in the groundhog day of pandemic life, as one day slides into another. It’s hard to be sharp when time feels like a puddle.
More importantly, many of us have neither the kinds of interactions with others nor the daily activities that kept us on our toes. Human beings, as much as we like our comforts, thrive on novelty and surprise and the little serotonin bursts they bring. Lacking this stimulation, it feels like our brains become sluggish.
I had a difficult time with memory in the worst of my depression. Part of it was because I felt so dissociative, few things registered as “real”, and so I had little recall of them. My mind always felt sludgy, and focusing on anything was a tremendous act of will. Covid brain feels different – rather than being stuck in a muddy bog, it’s like being in a pool of tepid water, neither here nor there, just not wanting to move.
So. Apologies for my brief absence. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep to a …. what was I talking about again?