There is good tired and bad tired. No, I’m not trying to assign false value to exhaustion! I just think it can feel very different, given its cause.
First, to bad tired: this is the fatigue that sets in when I feel depleted of energy and mental space, when I feel drained of spirit, when my limbs feel leaden and stiff. It’s often the result of forced or joyless activity, or tremendous emotional strain, or unwanted constraints. Quarantine would be the perfect example of a source of bad tired.
Then there is good tired. Good tired feels like a pleasant and welcome weight to the body, the warmth and expansion of muscles well-used, the peace of a mind that has been quietly focused on joyful activity for many hours.
Good tired follows a leisurely three-hour bike ride with close friends, on the beautiful trails of the Bay Area, which I am lucky enough to call home.
As much as I am tired of the awful situation in which the world and humankind now finds itself, I know how unbelievably fortunate I am to have this natural beauty surrounding me, to have these loving friends, to have the physical ability to spend an afternoon tooling around on my bike. I’ve been feeling despondent lately, but my fatigue this evening has been a tangible reminder that life goes on, and that joy is possible.
Has joy been harder to come by lately? Do you find it in different things than before?
My task: spend an evening away from my laptop. I’ve been here pretty constantly – blogging, writing, editing videos, working on graphic design – and I need a break. I’ve promised myself some reading tonight, and I’ll check back in tomorrow to let you know if this is (done!)