This

My friend Lilly and I go on frequent (socially-distanced) walks, and one of our topics is “what do you miss in quarantine?” It might sound like a bit of self-torture, but I find it really helps to externalize those feelings of loss; I feel relieved when I release whatever it was that was causing me sadness.

When she asked me the question today, I pulled out my phone and showed her this.

That’s Stern Grove, in San Francisco, last year before one of the free shows that are part of their concert series. A cloudy Sunday our with some close friends and thousands of others, enjoying music.

My husband and I realized that we’ve become so accustomed to moving across the sidewalk when we encounter others that we’ve begun to avoid each other in our apartment. When we realized what was happening, we laughed about it, but there was a little pain that laugh. Life has changed.

One of the things I love most in the world is not just the music that sustains me, but sharing it with others, whether I’m onstage or in the audience. It’s a beautiful communal activity, and one that nourishes us. To not be able to gather to share music together – to not be able to gather in person at all – it’s counter to human nature. We want to connect.

So today, I’ll simply point to that photo and say, this, I’m missing this.

What do you miss most in our socially-distanced society?

My task today: finish recording something for a virtual orchestra project in the works. I’m not the most tech-savvy person on earth but I managed a direct input from a very fancy keyboard into my laptop with a complicated set of cables. Kind of proud of myself (done!)

3 thoughts on “This

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