Past life

I’ve been spending a little more time doing things around the apartment lately, as I know many others have. There are piles of music that need to be put away, a closet full of clothes that haven’t been sorted in over a year, a filing cabinet to be organized, a messy bathroom cabinet that need to be cleared of empty tubes of toothpaste and expired contact solution.

As I was cleaning my little studio/work room, I realized I was still dedicating shelf space to my carefully packed travel kits of toiletries, tech organizers, makeup brushes, chargers, medication.

I’m used to having a lot of things packed and organized so that they can go straight from one suitcase to another. I even have packing cubes of concert clothes ready to go at all times.

Looking at these now it feels a bit surreal, as if they are artifacts from some distant past. It’s barely been two weeks since the first email announcing a canceled concert, but already it feels like it was a past life.

In some ways I think it’s adaptive. I’ve always made it a point to adjust as quickly as I could to any new situation, which is crucial if you’re traveling across multiple time zones – otherwise I would never have survived my travel schedule.

But it’s also self-protective – holding on to what life was like BC (Before COVID) wouldn’t serve me in the present, which is both logistically and emotionally completely different. I need to put that lifestyle aside for the moment, and, for my own mental health, to be present for life as it is now.

I think we all look forward to the time when some sense of normalcy will return – accepting, of course, that the world has been inexorably changed. And I’m not saying that we can’t long for that day. Rather, it’s useful and necessary to accept the world as it is now, to welcome the present, regardless of whether it seems hospitable or not.

I know that my future holds concerts and colleagues and travel and adventure, and I can’t wait for that day. In the meantime, I’ll continue to embrace the present as best I can, because doing so will connect me to what’s real and, hopefully, this will bring me some peace.

I forgot my question and task yesterday, sorry! Here’s today’s lot:

How do you react to difficult situations?

And my task: finish cleaning my work room. I got a bit sidetracked by writing this post, and I need to get back to it (not done…yet!)

3 thoughts on “Past life

  1. Every situation is an opportunity to learn something… The most difficult are the most interesting. I don’t think covid will change the world that much. Once it’ll be done with it, “Working-life” will get back on its feet with overtime, hurrying, stress, and all that jazz. 🙂

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  2. How do you react to difficult situations?
    It might sound cliché but in my case I visualize in my mind my favorite bird which is my avatar so the Snowy Owl (Harfand-des-Neiges). It is also our national emblem in my province. I see him flying throughout a black tunnel even if I see just a tiny sparkle of light at the exit. That encourages me to keep going on. I know there will be more light to come as well as better days. It does calm me down. Then I know my cortisol level decrease. My dopamine and my serotonin increase. Imagination is a powerful tool whatsoever how we use it.
    n.b.: I also prepare & organize some packs in my car (catheter, dressing stuff, syringes,…) so when I get a call to go somewhere I don’t always have to come back to the clsc. It’s is more efficient and I $ave some time.
    B-r-a-v-o Maestra!

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