I’m fortunate to have family in San Francisco – my brother, my sister-in-law, my nephew – with whom we’re podded, and with whom we could share a Thanksgiving meal.
This is the weirdest holiday season ever. Every-rising infection numbers, CDC warnings, separation from loved ones, lines at testing sites, lines at food banks, both vaccine hopes and dire warnings about the upcoming winter, the fatigue of it all.
I’m also in the middle of the 10 week stretch in which I usually make a big chunk of my yearly income, where I’m working straight from mid-October to New Year’s Day. I have a single concert this holiday season.
To say that it’s shitty is an understatement. And yet here we are.
This is the point at which I should be encouraging you to practice gratitude. And while I absolutely believe in the importance and power of gratitude, sometimes we’re not feeling particularly grateful, and that’s ok too.
Today is such a not-feeling-particularly-grateful kind of day for me, and I have chosen to just flow with that. Fortunately, I’m with a little pod of people who are as at peace with my cynicism and are as relieved as I am that we don’t need to put up a show of thanks when our emotions are so complicated.
We are humans; we can hold so many things within us – anger, fear, dismay, but also love, compassion, delight. Gratitude may be too exhausting to muster tonight, but a quiet hope is not. Sometimes all you need is someone (or a few someones) who accepts this unconditionally, and then passes you the cranberry sauce.
And for that, I give thanks.