Wayne asked me if I could choose a word for 2020, what word would define me.

I guess I’m not ready to speak for all of 2020 (I’m hoping that it will continue to change and develop!), and the word I’m choosing is not so much one that defines me than one that captures my frame of mind.

Reset.

Almost like a hard reboot, or a cache clearing. A forced stop, a clean start.

I, like so many of us, have been traipsing along on whatever life narrative I constructed for myself, moving through the incessant activity of travel and work, all in aim for a future over which I thought I had dominion. And the illusion of the world as we knew it, or the future as I imagined it, crumbled in the space of a few days, a week.

I’m choosing to take this reset as an opportunity to stop expecting things to turn out a certain way. Control is an illusion, of course, and releasing those expectations can be remarkably freeing. I’m choosing to take this reset as an opportunity to reexamine the choices I’ve been making in my life. Walking down a well-trod path takes the least resistance, of course, but it doesn’t mean it leads you where you want to go.

I know I’m asking you to ask me questions, but I can’t resist asking what your word might be?

My task: we broke quarantine today to invite my brother and his family into our bubble; we were asked to babysit my nephew while my brother got some shopping done. I wanted to be really present and engaged for the few hours I spent with Dylan, who I haven’t been close to for nearly 10 weeks (done!)